So there’s this new thing called a Facebook Status Generator. All the cool kids are using it. It takes bits and pieces from your past Facebook statuses and puts them together to make you a new status. The Facebook Status Generator is fun! It’s so much fun that one night I spent an hour laughing at all of the statuses it came up with for me. Maybe it’s because I’m easily amused. Maybe it’s because I’m a creative soul. Maybe it’s because I’m a single-old-lady-gay-man who only has Jesus to talk to. Either way, I thought the statuses could be even more fun if I took some of them and rearranged them into short poems! You should totally try it! I won’t call you a copycat. Promise. I like being a trendsetter.
An Urban Poem
Treat you right?
Be lucky if I can.
All you sucka MCs ain’t got pepper-spray on the thing I want.
You have half a bitch with my head when I walk through their way up.
Haha, yeah!
I’m gonna think that I don’t like crazy shit!
(I like it.)
Youth
Fifteen today isn’t the same good.
Who broke the good?
Sex With Ladies
This little girl,
I’m going to get on that.
Thiana, a wonderful lover, but I start feeling weird.
Well, not until she woke up.
My Show
I’m going to write a hypnotizing show.
It’s called Catfish because a catfish is really beautiful.
Susan, I wrote this.
I Had A Dream
I just remembered last night’s dream;
I saw a crazy.
I flinch.
I have a jump rope, so…
David The Gnome
I’m going to explain my dreams to the choir.
I just hear Tom Bosley say, “My dancing shoes…”
It’s dangerous being asleep on a tv show.
Doing Bath Salts
Stop eating my face at completely different times!
You have no boundaries!!
Go places, I said!
Saturday Feelings
Hey, Saturday Morning, how excited my insides get.
If you think I’m ready for this, you’re right.
I’m incredibly worldly, but I live in White Marsh bus stop.
Saturday, I’ve already cried twice.
How I Roll
Grizz, I AM hard to get,
Because my physical self does sound crazy, but I look amazing.
A shout out to me!!!
Queen B
I just logged on Spotify.
Miranda, Jess, your job is to take all the other Beyonces!!!!
At least 23!!!
Gratitude for Wednesday
Wednesday night at work!!
Tonight’s closing was smooth and I want to reiterate it.
Thank you, Shawn.
A Lonely Poem
I just like someone.
In sorrow, because they hate my heart.
I just wasn’t enough. I just realized that.
I’m going to miss you.
It Was All A Lie
I just bought Lady Gaga tickets!!!!!!!
I just love Lady Gaga tickets.
That didn’t happen, but I assume they’re on sale.
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